Futurevices-

Week 13

Sun, 12 May 2013 12:35:39 -0400

This week my growing baby is the size of a pea pod! Still so tiny! But apparently it’s body is catching up with its head now. He/she has a very strong heartbeat which was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced hearing. My heart just melted. This is the last week of the first trimester. Soon ill have a big baby bump! I’m super excited for that! :)

I get to hear my baby’s heartbeat today for the very first time! Boy, am I excited!

Thu, 09 May 2013 12:41:51 -0400

I get to hear my baby’s heartbeat today for the very first time! Boy, am I excited!

Week 12

Sat, 04 May 2013 13:37:03 -0400

Today marks 12 weeks of being prego. This week my little baby is supposed to be working on its reflexes. Apparently, I won’t be able to feel it yet but it is moving around. So neat to read about all these developments happening each week. Soon I will be in my second trimester. They say that is when you feel your best. So, HOPEFULLY, I won’t be so moody anymore. It’s crazy how hormones can determine how you react to certain situations. I thought that by recognizing this, I could control it more. That certainly is not the case. I’m glad I have such a forgiving and understanding boyfriend to support me in this roller coaster. I’m not sure anyone could put up with my large range of emotions. Tips at the bar certainly aren’t what they used to be. Hehe Hot tempered pregnant bartenders aren’t as patient as the average bartender. So it all makes perfect sense. Emotions running wild aside, this is the beginning of an exciting journey that I am so blessed to be on. I can’t express how happy I am to start this new exciting life!

Simple life. What happens after work.

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 14:59:13 -0500

Simple life. What happens after work.

Hummingbirds

Wed, 23 May 2012 13:31:13 -0400

Hummingbirds are the absolute most beautiful birds in the world. Not only are they pretty to look at, they represent so many great things, spiritually. They teach us to enjoy the present. Drink the the sweet nectar life has to offer us. To live in the now and to appreciate the simplest things in life. They are also very strong birds. Even though they are tiny, they carry a lot of strength. They teach us to seek out the good things in life, tirelessly searching no matter the circumstances. Basically, they teach us to keep on keepin’ on. I’ve sort of lost the hummingbirds qualities and motivation in the past few months. However, lately I feel a strong connection to them once again. As a great thank you to the universe I am getting a hummingbird half sleeve tattoo on Friday. I have been thinking about it a lot and out of nowhere a new lady who happens to be a tattoo artist moved to town. She’s very talented and is who I would want to do such an important piece. Anyway, thank you universe for all of the lessons you have put in my path. The strength of the hummingbird will always remind me to enjoy all that you put forth. Thank you.

and the camping begins

Mon, 14 May 2012 02:06:00 -0400

Such an awesome weekend. It consisted of pow wow dance party circles around the fire with my family and friends (an idea my awesomely intoxicated father came up with). Sleeping next to the fire, underneath the stars. Learning to use a chain saw…uh, well, sort of…The best fire cooked salmon I’ve ever made in my entire life. Teaching some amateur hooping lessons (as though I have been doing it for years…pfft!). Group star gazing (ahh so peaceful). And of course, the fire jam. Everyone’s improv/rhyming/guitar/harmonica skills…OHHH man, I surround myself with brilliant people. Oh summer, you are what I live for. Thank you for arriving just on time!

Spirit

Tue, 01 May 2012 18:54:35 -0400

I have so many Macaw feathers and nothing to make anything with them!! Still so happy about this!! I think I have enough feather to create an entire bird!

A real, legit sunburn followed by a thunder storm. Oh Great Summer, I worship you. Thank you for...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:49:06 -0400

A real, legit sunburn followed by a thunder storm. Oh Great Summer, I worship you. Thank you for coming back to me!

FREE CITY IN FERNIE! So very excited!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:29:20 -0400

FREE CITY IN FERNIE! So very excited!

Ani always has the best words. She’s brilliant.

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 22:38:22 -0400

Ani always has the best words. She’s brilliant.

just a thought or two

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 04:45:00 -0400

There is no such thing as a perfect ending. Or I guess you could say, a happy ending. Everything begins with beauty and fascination and excitement. But the road will always get bumpy, there will never be such a thing as smooth sailing.
I think, we, as humans confuse the connections we have with other humans far too often. We believe that if there is a connection, it must mean something more could come of it. Something full of understanding and everlasting love and happiness. So we, in turn, pursue a relationship, with more responsibilities and commitments. At first we don’t think that the “rules of love” apply to us. We believe we will be immune to the dramas that are inevitably created as relationships continue to grow. This isn’t true. There is not one person in this world who is unconditioned to expect something from somebody. We are trained, from the time we are born, that there is a certain way a relationship should work. We watch our parents and are influenced by them, we read books or hear stories or watch movies and we either consciously expect our relationships to be as those are or we are never fulfilled because we subconsciously, still expect something more or even less than what we are getting. When we get to our first relationship and we learn love and sexual experience, all of those feelings we feel, will affect every future relationship. We attach ourselves and our feelings to that first initial experience. How you learn it, will always be how you will continue to do it. It’s all conditioning us to fit something that just does not fit. It’s all some sort of master plan to feel like shit about ourselves. If we could all just learn to love unconditionally, without expectations or pressures to succeed, I think everyone in the world would be less dysfunctional and insecure. How do we unlearn what has been drilled into our brain from the very first breath we take? We are taught that we need to be successful, which means making lots of money, having the perfect relationship, turning into marriage and having children. It shouldn’t work like that. Nothing actually works like that. If you think it does, then you aren’t seeing the whole picture. Those rich married couples with the beautiful house and beautiful children running around, are more insecure than the poor old man living alone on the street begging for his meals. When there is nothing to lose, there is no reason to fear loss. When you have everything to lose…well, I think you get it. That rich couple has bought themselves a very high end security system to give them some false sense of security, and to protect all of their material things. All of those things have given them this false sense of worth, something they can’t get from themselves or each other. Their main focus was succeeding in fitting into what they have been told was the “dream life.” And have lost sight in the things that actually matter. But we are taught this. It’s not their fault. It’s not my fault, or your fault. It’s just how it’s turned out to be. I think the only way to be happy is to not worry about fitting this mold. Don’t force a connection to be anything more than just that. Don’t try to succeed in making lots of money because it’s expected of you. I would rather live poor and alone, than rich and just putting on a show. It’s easier to convince yourself you are happy when there is nothing to prove.

“being realistic is the most commonly traveled road...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 03:50:49 -0400

“being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity.”

Video

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 14:26:45 -0400

Audio

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 01:57:12 -0400

Thank you stranger; universe's vessel

Fri, 06 Apr 2012 01:51:00 -0400

Sometimes it takes somebody who knows nothing about you, to remind you how great the life you are living, really is. The universe knows how to time things.

Video

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 01:56:36 -0400

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my..."

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 04:27:47 -0400

“

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

”

- e. e. cummings

omybestbeloved: the parallels between mental illness -...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 03:14:20 -0400

omybestbeloved:

the parallels between mental illness - particularly nervous disorders and manic depression - and the ‘sacred illness’ that all shamanic initiates are said to endure before they take up their calling as healers are quite staggering. imagine, if we all allowed ourselves to simply experience the ‘disorders’ without instantly medicating ourselves and masking the symptoms. what if, these illnesses are in fact a gift, an awakening, a divine invitation to open to our full potential and capabilities?

something to think about.

Video

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 01:59:57 -0500

I know I can breathe, but that’s not enough.

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 01:00:45 -0500

I know I can breathe, but that’s not enough.