just a thought or two

There is no such thing as a perfect ending. Or I guess you could say, a happy ending. Everything begins with beauty and fascination and excitement. But the road will always get bumpy, there will never be such a thing as smooth sailing.
I think, we, as humans confuse the connections we have with other humans far too often. We believe that if there is a connection, it must mean something more could come of it. Something full of understanding and everlasting love and happiness. So we, in turn, pursue a relationship, with more responsibilities and commitments. At first we don’t think that the “rules of love” apply to us. We believe we will be immune to the dramas that are inevitably created as relationships continue to grow. This isn’t true. There is not one person in this world who is unconditioned to expect something from somebody. We are trained, from the time we are born, that there is a certain way a relationship should work.  We watch our parents and are influenced by them, we read books or hear stories  or watch movies and we either consciously expect our relationships to be as those are or we are never fulfilled because we subconsciously, still expect something more or even less than what we are getting. When we get to our first relationship and we learn love and sexual experience, all of those feelings we feel, will affect every future relationship. We attach ourselves and our feelings to that first initial experience. How you learn it, will always be how you will continue to do it. It’s all conditioning us to fit something that just does not fit. It’s all some sort of master plan to feel like shit about ourselves. If we could all just learn to love unconditionally, without expectations or pressures to succeed, I think everyone in the world would be less dysfunctional and insecure. How do we unlearn what has been drilled into our brain from the very first breath we take? We are taught that we need to be successful, which means making lots of money, having the perfect relationship, turning into marriage and having children. It shouldn’t work like that. Nothing actually works like that. If you think it does, then you aren’t seeing the whole picture. Those rich married couples with the beautiful house and beautiful children running around, are more insecure than the poor old man living alone on the street begging for his meals. When there is nothing to lose, there is no reason to fear loss. When you have everything to lose…well, I think you get it. That rich couple has bought themselves a very high end security system to give them some false sense of security, and to protect all of their material things. All of those things have given them this false sense of worth, something they can’t get from themselves or each other. Their main focus was succeeding in fitting into what they have been told was the “dream life.” And have lost sight in the things that actually matter. But we are taught this. It’s not their fault. It’s not my fault, or your fault. It’s just how it’s turned out to be. I think the only way to be happy is to not worry about fitting this mold. Don’t force a connection to be anything more than just that. Don’t try to succeed in making lots of money because it’s expected of you. I would rather live poor and alone, than rich and just putting on a show. It’s easier to convince yourself you are happy when there is nothing to prove.